Photo credit to Mishayla Denny
One of my dearest friends is getting married tomorrow. It has been wonderful to have had the past 9 years getting to know her and love her. I've grown to view her as a sister, especially over the past few years as we've gotten to spend extra time together for family events (we share nephews and now a niece), road trips and visits for fun. Tash is beautiful, helpful, has a servant's heart, is compassionate, hard working and mature. She's going to make an excellent wife for Brent. I know all of her other girl friends and sisters feel the same way about her!
So, with all of the wedding planning and excitement, I got to thinking about how important marriage is. As a picture of Christ and the church, I as a single lady also want to be a part of supporting, honoring and guarding the marriages of others. How can we do this as unmarried women? Well, I came up with a list!
1. Dress Modestly
Imagine what it would be like if men didn't see a woman's body until his wedding night? That would be amazing! It would also protect either of them from comparing themselves to others. With this thought in mind, we can help husbands focus on cherishing and appreciating their wife's body by not exposing ours! Men are visual and we don't want to provide anything inappropriate or distracting in their visual roladex. So ladies, let's be ladies and dress in such a way that will glorify God and not draw men away from their wives!
Say to wisdom, "You are my sister,"
And call understanding your nearest kin,
That they may keep you from the immoral woman,
The seductress who flatters with her words.
...I percieved among the youths,
a man devoid of understanding,
passing along the street near her corner,
and there the woman met him,
with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.
..immediately he went after her...
he did not know it would cost his life.
~ Selections from Proverbs 7
2. Accentuate the Positive
We all have brothers in Christ that we enjoy talking with and relating too. Some of them are not married, others are. When we interact with our married brothers, we should be careful not to take up too much of their time or attention. I'm not saying that you can never talk to a married man if his wife is not part of the conversation. What I am saying is use wisdom and discernment about how, why, when and how much time you spend in a one-on-one conversation and be cautious about what topics you address. Point him toward Christ and his family. Also be sure to say positive things about his wife directly to him. Remind him of how blessed he is! We want him to be thinking about how much he loves her!
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself,
~ Ephesians 5:33a
3. Eliminate the Negative!
If you catch your married friends doing too much complaining about their husbands, don't feed into it! Help to gently remind her of his good qualities and why she married him. Even if you don't know him well, you can ask good questions to provoke her thoughts about his positive traits!
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
~ Ephesians 5:33b
4. Single Sometimes Equals Babysitter
As much as some people begrudge the fact that assumptions are made about singles being automatic candidates as kid sitters, there is some truth to it. We have a bit more flexibility. Using this to the best of our ability, we can help build the marriages of our friends. If you offer to spend time watching their children, you will free them up to spend time alone together, whether it be on a date or giving them time to work on a project together. This is something tangible we can do to invest in their marriage! And, you get to spend time with kids playing games- it's pretty much a win/win here, folks! :D
Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.
~ Luke 6:38
5. Pray Daily
I don't do this enough. I tend to forget because I get focused on praying for people who want to get married or for things that seem more iminent and important, but this IS important. Marriage is the floor plan for the family. It's the structure of the building based on the foundation of Christ. It is becoming grossly misrepresented in our culture and very weakly portrayed in the church. We need to pray daily for the marriages around us- the ones in the beginning stage, the ones who've been married for 20 years and even those who've been married for 50 years! Satan is always on the prowl to rip man and wife apart. We mustn't forget this!
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
~ James 5:16
These are just a few things the Lord placed on my heart while musing. If anyone else has other ideas I would love to hear them! Tell me how YOU invest in the marriages of others, as an unmarried lady!
So, with all of the wedding planning and excitement, I got to thinking about how important marriage is. As a picture of Christ and the church, I as a single lady also want to be a part of supporting, honoring and guarding the marriages of others. How can we do this as unmarried women? Well, I came up with a list!
1. Dress Modestly
Imagine what it would be like if men didn't see a woman's body until his wedding night? That would be amazing! It would also protect either of them from comparing themselves to others. With this thought in mind, we can help husbands focus on cherishing and appreciating their wife's body by not exposing ours! Men are visual and we don't want to provide anything inappropriate or distracting in their visual roladex. So ladies, let's be ladies and dress in such a way that will glorify God and not draw men away from their wives!
Say to wisdom, "You are my sister,"
And call understanding your nearest kin,
That they may keep you from the immoral woman,
The seductress who flatters with her words.
...I percieved among the youths,
a man devoid of understanding,
passing along the street near her corner,
and there the woman met him,
with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.
..immediately he went after her...
he did not know it would cost his life.
~ Selections from Proverbs 7
2. Accentuate the Positive
We all have brothers in Christ that we enjoy talking with and relating too. Some of them are not married, others are. When we interact with our married brothers, we should be careful not to take up too much of their time or attention. I'm not saying that you can never talk to a married man if his wife is not part of the conversation. What I am saying is use wisdom and discernment about how, why, when and how much time you spend in a one-on-one conversation and be cautious about what topics you address. Point him toward Christ and his family. Also be sure to say positive things about his wife directly to him. Remind him of how blessed he is! We want him to be thinking about how much he loves her!
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself,
~ Ephesians 5:33a
3. Eliminate the Negative!
If you catch your married friends doing too much complaining about their husbands, don't feed into it! Help to gently remind her of his good qualities and why she married him. Even if you don't know him well, you can ask good questions to provoke her thoughts about his positive traits!
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
~ Ephesians 5:33b
4. Single Sometimes Equals Babysitter
As much as some people begrudge the fact that assumptions are made about singles being automatic candidates as kid sitters, there is some truth to it. We have a bit more flexibility. Using this to the best of our ability, we can help build the marriages of our friends. If you offer to spend time watching their children, you will free them up to spend time alone together, whether it be on a date or giving them time to work on a project together. This is something tangible we can do to invest in their marriage! And, you get to spend time with kids playing games- it's pretty much a win/win here, folks! :D
Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.
~ Luke 6:38
5. Pray Daily
I don't do this enough. I tend to forget because I get focused on praying for people who want to get married or for things that seem more iminent and important, but this IS important. Marriage is the floor plan for the family. It's the structure of the building based on the foundation of Christ. It is becoming grossly misrepresented in our culture and very weakly portrayed in the church. We need to pray daily for the marriages around us- the ones in the beginning stage, the ones who've been married for 20 years and even those who've been married for 50 years! Satan is always on the prowl to rip man and wife apart. We mustn't forget this!
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
~ James 5:16
These are just a few things the Lord placed on my heart while musing. If anyone else has other ideas I would love to hear them! Tell me how YOU invest in the marriages of others, as an unmarried lady!
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